HUMAN SERVICES? ... THAT'S SO REWARDING

by Gail S. Bernstein, Ph.D.
When Diana sat down with her friends at their college reunion, she heard all about their careers. One was a lawyer, one owned a business, one was a computer systems analyst. Diana left feeling frustrated and disillusioned. She chose to be a probation officer so she could help people. However, the problems she faces are overwhelming, and the rewards are few and far between.
If you work in one of the human services, you probably want to help people. That's a good reason for choosing the work you do, but it's not very specific. It's important to know what makes you want to come to work every day, especially for people in human services. We often get mixed messages from the world at large about the worth of what we do. Most of us have been told, "That must be so rewarding," or "you must have so much patience." Those comments usually mean "I don't understand why you want to work so hard for so little money," or "It must be so awful to spend your days with people who are down and out."
People who work as helpers need to be able to identify the nonmonetary rewards they get from their work. That's important because monetary rewards will always be in short supply. However, sometimes people in human services feel guilty about wanting to get self-satisfaction from their work.
Those guilty feelings are unfortunate because there's nothing wrong with wanting to like the work you do. There are many different ways to help, and some people are not equally well-suited for all of them. It makes sense to look for work that is both satisfying personally and helpful to others.
Every career has both advantages and disadvantages. Some of what you do will be rewarding, and some will be unpleasant. Each of us is unique in terms of what we find rewarding and how much reinforcement we need to feel self-satisfaction from our work. That's why it's important to know yourself well enough to pick a job that is a good fit.
One useful exercise is to make a two-column list. On one side, list all the rewards you get from your current work. On the other side, list all the disadvantages and drawbacks. Then ask yourself whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. When you do this, remember to be honest with yourself.
Remember it's okay to have selfish motives as well as unselfish ones, and it's okay to have fun while you work. It is also okay to have unselfish motives such as making people's lives a little easier. On the other hand, it is not okay to do human services because you think you should find it rewarding, or because you believe people will think you are a good person. Whatever you do, do it because you want to, not because someone else wants you to.
Remember, people who genuinely like their work and find it rewarding usually do a better job than people who do not like what they do.

PRICELESS GIFTS

by Gail S. Bernstein, Ph.D.
The season is here once again. No matter what holiday, if any, you celebrate, no matter what you believe, you're being bombarded with exhortations to celebrate, to love, to buy and to give. The airwaves are filled with stories about miracles and family gatherings that may be more fantasy than reality. Here are some suggestions for nonmaterial gifts that capture the spirit of the season.
Give yourself the gift of realistic expectations. So many of us understand others are human and imperfect, but forget the same is true for ourselves. Forgive yourself for being human, and for having limited time, energy, and resources. Remember that gifts do not have to be homemade or extravagant to be loving and important.
Give the gift of time.
Offer to babysit for someone with small children. Go to lunch with a friend you haven't seen in a long time. Plan a special evening with your lover. Take time for yourself.
Give the gift of life.
If you haven't done it already, fill out an organ donor card and carry it in your wallet.
Give the gift of unusual sights and sounds.
The world is filled with them, and many are free or inexpensive. Take someone special on a tour. There are lights and decorations everywhere, free concerts at shopping malls, free days at the zoo.
Give the gift of laughter.
There's plenty of pain and suffering in the world, and laughter helps us cope. Go frolic on a playground, listen to a child tell silly jokes, take someone to a funny movie. Laughter isn't just for kids.
Give the gift of an open mind.
Listen carefully to someone who disagrees with you. Watch a television show you've never seen. Listen to the words of a song you've always ignored.
Give the gift of love.
Tell the important people in your life how much they mean to you. I've never heard anyone express regret for having said "I love you" too often.
With best wishes for the holiday season,

Dog Obedience Training Tips: by Garry Neale

Obedience training is probably the best thing you can ever do for yourself and your dog. It should be noted that dog obedience training will not resolve all dog behavior problems. However, it's a very useful foundation for resolving most of the dog behavior problems you'll encounter.
Dog obedience training comes in several flavors. The most popular type is basic obedience, where you teach your dog how to sit, stay, fetch and lay down. There is also a more advanced training that can be used for purebred dog on how to behave during a dog show. The basic type of training also has several different methods that are currently popular. Many owners use rewards to get their dogs to behave or listen to commands. Others prefer the clicker method in order to condition their dogs to obey.
Most dog behavior problems can be addressed with proper home training. Obedience training is a commitment by the owner and the dog. You'll need a lot of patience if you want to be successful at home obedience training. Most dogs behavior problems show-up because the owner fails to set and enforce the rules. Dog obedience training serves to make you the pack leader and teaches your dog to follow your instructions. Once this relationship is established, you and your dog will both enjoy a fruitful partnership.
It's important to start basic obedience training when your dog is still a puppy. If you don't train your puppy, you will have a much harder time once all the bad habits have set in. Basic dog obedience is the responsibility of the owner and should probably start with potty training as the first objective. Once that objective is accomplished, you'll be well on your way to having a happy obedient dog.
Does your dog have a problem with excessive barking, biting and whining? Is your dog overly aggressive? While it's always best to start training them as a puppy, the good news is it's never too late to train your dog. If your dog is uncontrollable, then this is going to continue to get even worse. Obedience training can fix your dog's behavior problems and teach your dog to substitute acceptable behaviors for unacceptable behaviors. Dogs are extremely intelligent and they can learn very quickly.
Once you understand how your dog learns, you can train him to follow basic obedience commands. The primary reason some training sessions fail is because the owner expects his dog to think like a human. These owners try screaming at their dog and doing all kinds of weird behaviors just hoping the dog will eventually listen. Obedience training will allow you to communicate to your dog exactly what your want them to do.
Many dog owners today get so frustrated that they end up hiring a dog trainer. But that's only partially effective. There are some things your dog just can't learn from a trainer. That's because most obedience training actually takes place at home in your day to day dealings with your pet. However, with the proper tools, anyone can have a happy well-behaved pet.