by Susan Sprecher, Ph.D.
American Psychological Association explores how love improves over time for romantic couples if satisfaction and commitment increase too.
"Love does tend to grow, but loving each other may not prevent break-up," according to psychologist Susan Sprecher, Ph.D., of Illinois State University. "Couples break up because of decreased levels of satisfaction in the relationship-not because they stop loving each other."
Dr. Sprecher discovered that satisfaction and commitment were as, or more, important than love for couples in their desire to stay together by surveying both partners of 101 heterosexual couples at a Midwestern university. She examined both their actual and perceived changes in love, satisfaction and commitment for each other over a four-year period.
By the end of the study, 59 percent of the couples had ended their relationships. These couples reported decreased levels of satisfaction and commitment before the relationship actually ended, but said that their love remained unchanged.
"These results suggest that people do not end their relationship because of the disappearance of love," said Dr. Sprecher, "but because of a dissatisfaction or unhappiness that develops, which may cause love to stop growing." She also noted that love might not completely end when the relationship ends.
Of the 41 couples who remained together, 71 percent had married. The couples who remained together reported that their love, satisfaction and commitment increased over time. Furthermore, the largest increase was in their commitment for one another.
Showing posts with label heterosexual. Show all posts
Showing posts with label heterosexual. Show all posts
Tuesday, 29 July 2008
DEFINING SEXUAL ORIENTATION
by Gail S. Bernstein, Ph.D.
Sexual orientation is a classic example of a way to categorize people that is both widely misunderstood and controversial. That's not surprising, given our society's problems with sex. Our culture is one that is both obsessed with sex and phobic about it (Gonsiorek,1988). That makes it very difficult to talk calmly about any sexual topic, and sexual orientation is no exception.
Much of the confusion about sexual orientation occurs because there is no single agreed upon definition of the term. There are at least three groups of people with an interest in defining sexual orientation: scientists and scholars, people who are defining themselves as not heterosexual, and policy makers and politicians.
Scientists and scholars need clear definitions of sexual orientation so they have a common language for talking about their theories and the results of their research. However, that does not mean all scientists and scholars agree on a single definition of sexual orientation, anymore than they agree on single definitions of other terms.
Sometimes that's because a concept is difficult to define. Sometimes definitions are influenced by cultural and political debates and biases. However, the requirement that scholars and scientists clearly define their terms helps us to understand and interpret their work. There is no one universally accepted definition of sexual orientation, nor of who is bisexual, lesbian, or gay. However, as long as those who study sexual orientation are clear about how they define it, and how they define categories of non-heterosexual orientations, we can at least know who is being studied. Unfortunately, when the popular media report on results of research about sexual orientation, those reports rarely include information about how the researchers defined their terms. One of the questions useful to ask about research results is whether the study was of sexual behavior or sexual orientation. The two are often confused.
I believe any useful definition of sexual orientation should not require that a person be sexually active in order to be defined as having a particular orientation. That is because you do not have to be sexually active to be clear about the gender of those you find attractive. There are heterosexuals who do not become sexually active until they are married, and there are lesbians and bisexuals and gay men who do not become sexually active until they are in long-term committed relationships. There are also people of all sexual orientations who are never sexually active, such as those who take vows of celibacy in religious orders. That is why it is not appropriate to define sexual orientation solely in terms of sexual behavior.
Here is one recent definition I find useful:
A homosexual is an adult whose fantasies, attachments and longings are predominantly for persons of the same gender, who may or may not express those longings in overt behavior, and whose orientation may or may not be accompanied by a homosexual identity (Reiter, 1989, p. 140).
If we extend this definition, then heterosexuals are those for whom fantasies, attachments, and longings are predominantly for persons of the opposite gender, and bisexuals are those with fantasies, attachments and longings for persons of both genders. Notice that this definition distinguishes between orientation and identity. Orientation refers to definitions applied to others for scientific and scholarly purposes. Personal identity refers to what we call ourselves, to the identity we each have as a gay, lesbian, bisexual, or heterosexual person.
Sexual orientation is a classic example of a way to categorize people that is both widely misunderstood and controversial. That's not surprising, given our society's problems with sex. Our culture is one that is both obsessed with sex and phobic about it (Gonsiorek,1988). That makes it very difficult to talk calmly about any sexual topic, and sexual orientation is no exception.
Much of the confusion about sexual orientation occurs because there is no single agreed upon definition of the term. There are at least three groups of people with an interest in defining sexual orientation: scientists and scholars, people who are defining themselves as not heterosexual, and policy makers and politicians.
Scientists and scholars need clear definitions of sexual orientation so they have a common language for talking about their theories and the results of their research. However, that does not mean all scientists and scholars agree on a single definition of sexual orientation, anymore than they agree on single definitions of other terms.
Sometimes that's because a concept is difficult to define. Sometimes definitions are influenced by cultural and political debates and biases. However, the requirement that scholars and scientists clearly define their terms helps us to understand and interpret their work. There is no one universally accepted definition of sexual orientation, nor of who is bisexual, lesbian, or gay. However, as long as those who study sexual orientation are clear about how they define it, and how they define categories of non-heterosexual orientations, we can at least know who is being studied. Unfortunately, when the popular media report on results of research about sexual orientation, those reports rarely include information about how the researchers defined their terms. One of the questions useful to ask about research results is whether the study was of sexual behavior or sexual orientation. The two are often confused.
I believe any useful definition of sexual orientation should not require that a person be sexually active in order to be defined as having a particular orientation. That is because you do not have to be sexually active to be clear about the gender of those you find attractive. There are heterosexuals who do not become sexually active until they are married, and there are lesbians and bisexuals and gay men who do not become sexually active until they are in long-term committed relationships. There are also people of all sexual orientations who are never sexually active, such as those who take vows of celibacy in religious orders. That is why it is not appropriate to define sexual orientation solely in terms of sexual behavior.
Here is one recent definition I find useful:
A homosexual is an adult whose fantasies, attachments and longings are predominantly for persons of the same gender, who may or may not express those longings in overt behavior, and whose orientation may or may not be accompanied by a homosexual identity (Reiter, 1989, p. 140).
If we extend this definition, then heterosexuals are those for whom fantasies, attachments, and longings are predominantly for persons of the opposite gender, and bisexuals are those with fantasies, attachments and longings for persons of both genders. Notice that this definition distinguishes between orientation and identity. Orientation refers to definitions applied to others for scientific and scholarly purposes. Personal identity refers to what we call ourselves, to the identity we each have as a gay, lesbian, bisexual, or heterosexual person.
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