IS LOVE ENOUGH?

by Susan Sprecher, Ph.D.
American Psychological Association explores how love improves over time for romantic couples if satisfaction and commitment increase too.
"Love does tend to grow, but loving each other may not prevent break-up," according to psychologist Susan Sprecher, Ph.D., of Illinois State University. "Couples break up because of decreased levels of satisfaction in the relationship-not because they stop loving each other."
Dr. Sprecher discovered that satisfaction and commitment were as, or more, important than love for couples in their desire to stay together by surveying both partners of 101 heterosexual couples at a Midwestern university. She examined both their actual and perceived changes in love, satisfaction and commitment for each other over a four-year period.
By the end of the study, 59 percent of the couples had ended their relationships. These couples reported decreased levels of satisfaction and commitment before the relationship actually ended, but said that their love remained unchanged.
"These results suggest that people do not end their relationship because of the disappearance of love," said Dr. Sprecher, "but because of a dissatisfaction or unhappiness that develops, which may cause love to stop growing." She also noted that love might not completely end when the relationship ends.
Of the 41 couples who remained together, 71 percent had married. The couples who remained together reported that their love, satisfaction and commitment increased over time. Furthermore, the largest increase was in their commitment for one another.

Actor Quizzed On Domestic Assault

Actor Sean Bean spent the night in a police cell following allegations that he assaulted his wife.

Police were called following a claim of domestic assault and arrested the 49-year-old at his London home.
Bean was taken to a police station and kept overnight before being released without charge.
The Lord of the Rings star married his fourth wife, 29-year-old Georgina Sutcliffe, in February.
The couple originally intended to marry in January but cancelled 24 hours before the big day, citing "personal reasons".
Ms Sutcliffe, who is an actress told the Sun: "Everything is okay. Sean and I are at home enjoying the sunshine. He was arrested. Everything was blown out of proportion."
Bean told the newspaper: "I'm fine."
The Sheffield-born actor married his first wife Debra at the age of 21, followed by marriages to Bread actress Melanie Hill and Sharpe co-star Abigail Cruttenden.
A Scotland Yard spokesman said: "Police were called to a home at 11.40pm on Thursday night following an allegation of domestic assault.
"A man was taken to a police station and bailed on Friday morning. Later that day he was advised that no further police action would be taken."

How To Deal With A Break-up

Does a break-up in your relationship look imminent? Is a divorce as the sordid end to your marriage only a matter of time, or so it seems? Is your partner rejecting you?
If your answer to either of the above questions was "yes", there might have been times when the situation appeared beyond repair, or you might in fact be finding yourself "checkmated by destiny", or so to say.
Well, what you've got to remember is that it's never all that bad; it's all in the mind. And however bad the position may be, there's always a way out! In fact, you could win your ex-lover back, be together with him again and letting pleasant memories be what they are- pleasant! And it's not like all this is next to impossible, for many have been there before and done that- girls have got their ex-lovers back and boys have recaptured lost love.
And they weren't necessarily coached into it by psychologists or counselors. In fact, it won't be an exaggeration to say that many of them made it by sheer accident. Maybe as a matter of chance, they did the right kinds of things, said what was appropriate, at the right time. Others had "almost" ruined their relationship to a point of no return and the pendulum could have swung either way.
To reiterate a point, all is never lost. There's always a ray of hope which you can build on. And why just a ray of hope, you could be learning from those who have been successful, follow some well-meaning advice and get your ex-lovers back into your arms! It sure isn't easy dealing with a break-up, but it isn't very difficult either!
It may so happen that you keep mulling over what went wrong in the relationship, and how you could have averted the "inevitable" in the relationship. The more you analyze, the more the pain and the hurt reveal themselves to you. And then, when you bump into your ex-lover, you might start it all over again with him or her- both of you might break out into an argument, and the roller-coaster ride may get back to square one, maybe even what might seem like a dark alley.
Why did the split happen? Men and women, both have specific needs, and if these don't get fulfilled, the relationship might be on the rocks. So instead of trying to make your partner see things from your standpoint, just make her realize that he or she still needs you. And you don't have to memorize big speeches and rattle them off in order to salvage the situation!
You need not plead before your ex-lover to take you back into his/her arms. In fact, that would only make the situation worse, for nobody wants miserable losers, and that may lead to a loss of self-esteem on your part. Following a plan might do you and your cause a world of good.