by Ray Bruce, Ph.D.
Eric, 26, has just completed his Ph.D. in applied digital engineering. He's wondering what he's going to do now. Out of school and out of work, he's questioning his relationship and his life. His girl friend, Kim, has just had her best year ever as a stock broker with a major NYSE Member Firm. She says it doesn't matter who makes the most money. He's not so sure.
Next to penis size, questioning his ability to provide anadequate income is the surest way to create doubt for a man. A man who believes he's at risk with either is vulnerable on all fronts. Why are sexual prowess and income so important? Because they provide men with the most obvious symbols of identity. Externals seem to be everything in our MTV paced, consumer oriented culture. Sound bites don't give much time for more than a passing glance. If you have the right clothes, the right audio/video link, and the right job, you must be Mr. or Ms. right. If you don't, you're out. It's the external law of the jungle.
But things may be changing. Beyond income, what does work have to offer? Fortune Magazine in it's December 26, 1994 issue asks the question "Why do we work?" Their conclusion is scary for many men. Fortune reports that personal satisfaction seems to come in four ways:
achieving technical excellence
serving a purpose larger than the individual
being a part of a team
by finding what your spirit needs
Here's the rub. Of these four springboards to satisfaction, only technical excellence deals with externals, the other three address inside issues. How can men develop tools to compete on the "insidetrack?" One place to begin is to develop a personal mission statement.
Stephen Covey in his best selling book, Seven Basic Habits of Highly Effective People says, "You see, once you can decide what you are about and what you treasure, what you value, you've automatically got guidelines. You've developed the criteria for making all of the decisions in your life."
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