DEFINING SEXUAL ORIENTATION

by Gail S. Bernstein, Ph.D.
Sexual orientation is a classic example of a way to categorize people that is both widely misunderstood and controversial. That's not surprising, given our society's problems with sex. Our culture is one that is both obsessed with sex and phobic about it (Gonsiorek,1988). That makes it very difficult to talk calmly about any sexual topic, and sexual orientation is no exception.
Much of the confusion about sexual orientation occurs because there is no single agreed upon definition of the term. There are at least three groups of people with an interest in defining sexual orientation: scientists and scholars, people who are defining themselves as not heterosexual, and policy makers and politicians.
Scientists and scholars need clear definitions of sexual orientation so they have a common language for talking about their theories and the results of their research. However, that does not mean all scientists and scholars agree on a single definition of sexual orientation, anymore than they agree on single definitions of other terms.
Sometimes that's because a concept is difficult to define. Sometimes definitions are influenced by cultural and political debates and biases. However, the requirement that scholars and scientists clearly define their terms helps us to understand and interpret their work. There is no one universally accepted definition of sexual orientation, nor of who is bisexual, lesbian, or gay. However, as long as those who study sexual orientation are clear about how they define it, and how they define categories of non-heterosexual orientations, we can at least know who is being studied. Unfortunately, when the popular media report on results of research about sexual orientation, those reports rarely include information about how the researchers defined their terms. One of the questions useful to ask about research results is whether the study was of sexual behavior or sexual orientation. The two are often confused.
I believe any useful definition of sexual orientation should not require that a person be sexually active in order to be defined as having a particular orientation. That is because you do not have to be sexually active to be clear about the gender of those you find attractive. There are heterosexuals who do not become sexually active until they are married, and there are lesbians and bisexuals and gay men who do not become sexually active until they are in long-term committed relationships. There are also people of all sexual orientations who are never sexually active, such as those who take vows of celibacy in religious orders. That is why it is not appropriate to define sexual orientation solely in terms of sexual behavior.
Here is one recent definition I find useful:
A homosexual is an adult whose fantasies, attachments and longings are predominantly for persons of the same gender, who may or may not express those longings in overt behavior, and whose orientation may or may not be accompanied by a homosexual identity (Reiter, 1989, p. 140).
If we extend this definition, then heterosexuals are those for whom fantasies, attachments, and longings are predominantly for persons of the opposite gender, and bisexuals are those with fantasies, attachments and longings for persons of both genders. Notice that this definition distinguishes between orientation and identity. Orientation refers to definitions applied to others for scientific and scholarly purposes. Personal identity refers to what we call ourselves, to the identity we each have as a gay, lesbian, bisexual, or heterosexual person.

Why is John Barrowman gay?

Torchwood star John Barrowman has known he was gay since he was nine. But was he born that way or did his upbringing have something to do with it? Here, he explains why he set out to try to solve this mystery, for the BBC One show The Making of Me.
I was in the closet for three hours once in 1972. It was dark, uncomfortable, and really cramped. Plus, I was convinced I wasn't alone (a crumpled jacket lurking in the corner looked pretty dangerous). I was five and my brother, Andrew, then 10, and my sister, Carole, 13, had shoved me into the coat closet because, well, really for absolutely no good reason. I mean what baby brother has ever annoyed his siblings to the point of needing to be locked up or tied down?
This story still gets a laugh from my nieces and nephews. Depending on who's doing the telling, Uncle John was either locked up for 30 fleeting minutes or for three long, tortuous, oxygen-starved hours. As simple as the story is I think it's an apt metaphor for the way I've chosen to live my life - openly, honestly, with no regrets. And, whenever I can, I try to confront the monsters in the dark. As my favourite Jerry Herman song proclaims: "There's no return and no deposit. One life. So open up your closet."
My sexuality has never been deliberately hidden. I'm in a committed relationship with the love of my life, Scott Gill, and he is as much a part of the family as my sister's husband, Kevin, and my brother's wife, Dot. However, just because I'm comfortable with my sexuality doesn't mean that I'm not curious about it and that's one of the reasons I agreed to take this journey to discover the making of me.
I remember vividly when I first realised I was gay. I was nine and a few of my friends were looking at some mild porn in the playground during recess. While they were ogling the well-endowed female models, I couldn't take my eyes off the male members in the shot.
Growing up in the Barrowman household, conversations about sexuality were never taboo. Over the years, we've talked about many of the theories that may explain what makes a person gay. In fact, it's always been a bit of a joke in our family that my dad was responsible - he frequently dressed me up as a girl. In fact, he has some cross-dressing in his own past. He once dressed up as a tarty neighbour, pretended to crash his own party, and proceeded to flirt with the men in the room- all with my mum playing along for the laughs.
Nature or nurture?
The show actually gave me an opportunity to discover whether or not I had ancestors who were gay because years ago if you were in the closet you were so far in the closet you were in the house next door.
My sexuality has never been deliberately hidden. I'm in a committed relationship with the love of my life, Scott Gill, and he is as much a part of the family as my sister's husband, Kevin, and my brother's wife, Dot. However, just because I'm comfortable with my sexuality doesn't mean that I'm not curious about it and that's one of the reasons I agreed to take this journey to discover the making of me.
I remember vividly when I first realised I was gay. I was nine and a few of my friends were looking at some mild porn in the playground during recess. While they were ogling the well-endowed female models, I couldn't take my eyes off the male members in the shot.
Growing up in the Barrowman household, conversations about sexuality were never taboo. Over the years, we've talked about many of the theories that may explain what makes a person gay. In fact, it's always been a bit of a joke in our family that my dad was responsible - he frequently dressed me up as a girl. In fact, he has some cross-dressing in his own past. He once dressed up as a tarty neighbour, pretended to crash his own party, and proceeded to flirt with the men in the room- all with my mum playing along for the laughs.
Nature or nurture?
The show actually gave me an opportunity to discover whether or not I had ancestors who were gay because years ago if you were in the closet you were so far in the closet you were in the house next door.
Other psychological and physical tests told me more about my sexuality. Like whether I had any latent attraction to women at all. That one really caught me by surprise - at least for a moment. And in word association tests, men tend to be more factual and literal. But women and gay men tend to be much more descriptive and eloquent. I'm glad to say that was true for me as well.
Another test involved looking at moving images of different combinations of men and women. I had to press buttons to signal my reaction while lying in an MRI scanner which also measured my reaction so I couldn't lie.
I'm proud to say that in some of the tests I was totally off the scale.
So participating in this programme was exciting and provocative, but in the end, taking the personal risk to discover what makes me gay was worth it because on a daily basis I get letters from young men and women who are feeling the brunt of our culture's homophobia. If exploring this issue can bring comfort to some of these young people then I think the programme will have done a really wonderful thing.