Wednesday, 16 July 2008

How Couples Can Deal With Different Levels Of Sexual Desire: by Tristan Bailey

We all have different levels of interest in sex and our libido can fluctuate quite dramatically throughout our lifetime, especially as we get older. Couples who have small differences in sexual desire can manage the situation relatively easily, but problems can occur when the disparity is much larger.
When one person desires sex more often than their partner it can have a negative impact on a relationship, and if not dealt with, the situation can become intolerable. When there is a massive difference in the level of sexual desire between two people in a relationship it can be very hard to find a solution that will satisfy each other's needs.
The person who has a lower level of sexual desire will often feel pressured to do something that they don't feel like doing and over time this can lead to resentment and anger. As the situation gets worse they will start to lose interest in sex altogether and their level of sexual desire will decrease even further.
The person who has a higher level of sexual desire will often feel unloved, deprived, and desperate because they are not getting what they want and need from the relationship. As the situation gets worse they will start to want sex even more frequently and their level of sexual desire will increase even further.
This creates a vicious circle where one person's sexual desire increases while the other person loses all interest and this can result in the relationship becoming unbearable. But while this is a serious problem, it can be resolved if both parties are willing to make an effort to accommodate for each other's differences.
Its a delicate balance between not pressuring one person to have sex when they don't want to, and making sure the other person's sexual needs are being met adequately. If this problem has existed for a long time during a relationship the situation may have become so bad that the help of a therapist may be required to try and resolve it.
To solve this problem, the person with the lower level of sexual desire must be willing to provide sexual satisfaction to their partner in ways that don't involve intercourse. As well as not being forced to have intercourse when they are not aroused, they may also gain pleasure from pleasing their partner.
Doing this will reduce the pressure for more frequent sex from the person with a higher level of sexual desire and they will regain the feeling that their partner cares about their needs. The other person may also experience an increased level of sexual desire because they are not being forced to have intercourse and there is less strain on the relationship.

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